I can't believe this is happening....again.
I didn't know it could hurt this much. My heart aches constantly, and beats so rapidly & so often... I feel like it's going to give out at any moment. It's like a hole has been punched through my chest, and there's nothing I can do to stop the pain, or to stop the tears. They're like rainfall, once it starts, I can't stop it. I didn't know I could cry this much. I want nothing more than to go home, or to go back knowing this was coming and gotten over it THEN instead of now. I know that with time this will heal, but this one is going to be hard....REALLY hard. I didn't see this coming, it's like the floor just vanished from under my feet, and i'm so overwhelmed right now I can't even get things straight. Everything is ruined, all my plans, everything. I don't know what I'm going to do. One day at a time.... these days feel like they're never going to end. Sleep is the only time i don't hurt, but i'm not getting there easily. and just like the rascall flats song.... i literally wake up, and tears just start falling. I feel physically sick, and SO weak. I know everything happens for a reason...but that doesn't make it hurt any less. Thank God for my friends or I don't know what I'd do. I have the best support from Matty, as always, he never lets me down. & of course from my girls, who sit and listen to me cry, put me to sleep and my roomie who lets me just play loud music and cry into my pillow.
I don't know why I'm posting this...it sort of feels better to write it out...it's not like anyone reads this anyways..
I hate this.....and it's only been 2 days....
